Invisible

As you know I have had my tonsils out. Recovery has been slow. The doctors warned me it would be but I didn’t really believe them until it happened. I am now able to talk but the thing is I can’t talk very loudly and its extremely annoying. The soft spoken don’t get heard and often it feels like I’m invisible. All because I can’t shout and believe me there have been times I have wanted to.

People don’t hear me or misunderstand and the looks on their faces just infuriates me. I know they are not doing it on purpose but that doesn’t make me feel any better. It is also frustrating as it feels as if it is deemed okay to ignore me. I’m not able to say things loudly or in a strong voice so it is almost as if people, especially my children, think I don’t mean what I’m saying so they don’t have to listen.

I am fed up of not feeling well. I just want to be able to get back to normal. Don’t get me wrong I feel loads better than the week before but I’m still not working at 100%. Thursday was the first day I left the house after getting out of the hospital. As I’m still not okay to drive, we had to walk to my parents, from which the children went trick or treating. Something so simple, took a lot out of me and I was exhausted.

So really I’m just fed up and I’m writing about it because that’s the only outlet I have, and I’m hoping that someone out there understands what I’m feeling.