Day 12 in Isolation

As the country went into semi-lockdown, I had already been in isolation for almost a week. My youngest had a cough, then her older sister got a cough and now I have cough. Under normal circumstances I would have continued with my everyday life. As apart from a annoyingly persistent cough we are all okay. No fevers or aches and pains. However these are not normal circumstances so I followed the guidelines to self isolate. It has now been almost two weeks and I’m not any better. The children on the other hand are. I have a compromised immune system due to being pregnant. Something that hadn’t crossed my mind as before this I had felt fit and healthy, if not a bit round and off balance. At least I can say I haven’t got any worse, which I guess is a good thing.

Homeschooling my two oldest has gone surprisingly well. They are actually enjoying it and asking me for more tasks when we finish something. They both are working on their own projects and doing work based around a book each. I have planned out new projects for them once they finish their current ones. I have noticed the more they have to do the less they ask for snacks. I reckon they could eat a week’s shop within a day if I let them. The one struggling the most is actually my one year old. She obviously doesn’t go to school but I think she misses her routine and playgroup, which she goes to three times a week. I also believe she misses our morning walk that ends with us returning without her sisters. To be honest I think all three of them miss their time apart. Not because they don’t like each other but sometimes it is just nice to do your own thing. They each have their after school clubs they go to which they are not getting to do.  We are all getting under each other’s feet but we are coping. Daily mediation is something I am considering implementing. I am also super grateful we have a garden with a wendy house, mud kitchen and sand table in. Not everyone has access to these things. I know without the option to let them run wild in the garden I would be have gone completely insane.

Now to my own issues. I am majorly stressing about this whole pregnancy. Now really isn’t a nice time to be pregnant. I am extremely happy my due date isn’t imminent as my anxiety would be through the roof. I feel for anyone who is due to give birth soon. My husband is allowed to come to any appointments with me anymore and honestly it makes me not want to go. It wouldn’t be as bad if I was seeing my community midwife. I know her and she knows me and my history. At my last appointment the doctor didn’t know why I was there and said I looked fit and healthy. I was their due to my second born have congenital heart disease and for whatever reason, he couldn’t see this in my notes. This really doesn’t fill me with confidence and I left that appointment feeling unsettled about everything. Luckily I don’t have to go back for another five weeks and I really hope things have begun to calm down and this virus isn’t spreading so quickly. I really hope things are better by my due date, as I don’t know how I will cope being in hospital on my own as I have a lot on anxiety around this due to past events with F. I had the bright idea to try organise some baby stuff earlier to distract myself. This did not help, as I found nearly everything I would need out of stock, making me more stressed. I cannot imaged how stressful this situation is for people whose due date is right now.

Everything is crazy at the moment but I think we can all take comfort in knowing we are not alone in any of this. Everyone is having to make major changes to life and the is so much financial uncertainty at the moment. We are extremely luckily that we have family members helping us with grocery shopping but they can’t get us things that the shops don’t have. This whole toilet roll thing is madness. Now is the time for community’s to come together and help each other out. I have seen a lot of selfishness recently, where people are just so thoughtless of those around them and seem to think they are invincible. If it isn’t happening to them it doesn’t matter. However, I have also witnessed so much kindness. People offering help to complete strangers, with food delivers and lifts to medical appoints and medicine. These are the people give me hope. I wish more of us could be like these people.

I think I will just take comfort in knowing this is temporary. It won’t last forever and the majority of people are doing their best to stop the spread and help others.